I'm just a kid in grown-up clothes

I somehow can't get over the fact that all my friends are getting married-- and furthermore, that wedding photos of said friends look to me like children playing dress-up. This is not to say that these friends of mine shouldn't take the plunge, or that I won't some day get used to being a perpetually single twentysomething whose friends and exes get married and pop out children like there's a 2-for-1 sale in the grown-up aisle.

Hey, maybe I will adjust to all the change someday. For now, I will shamelessly blog about how weird it is to me.

Tomorrow I start doing Slimfast, which I'm slightly motivated about as le Tanya has had some success on it. I haven't been on a diet in quite some time, mostly because I don't like them and partly because I just can't seem to care enough. But for health reasons, I do need to lose a few pounds. But not too many! I plan to stay pleasantly curvaceous.

I'm now officially in search of a roommate. My current roomie moves out on Aug 1, and so far the search has been unsuccessful. I had a guy come look at the place today, but am seriously contemplating whether or not I want to have a male roommate. The reputation of my brothers precedes him (as they were the last of the male gender I've lived with), which is probably incredibly unfair to him. Does anyone have any experience (good or bad) with co-ed living? Feedback and advice would be greatly appreciated.

It's cloudy in my mind

My mind was cloudy today. All of the sudden raindrops of doubt have started to fall on my head. Is this really where I want to be? Where I am supposed to be? Is this really what I am supposed to be doing with my life?

I've made a decision to research the possibility of moving out of state... to a place where sunshine is more consistent and winters aren't accompanied by so much ickiness. Yes, I've just graduated and am fortunate enough to have a great job. But maybe... perhaps... the job isn't all that it's cracked up to be. And maybe, perhaps, I won't have the guts to move a year or two down the road. Maybe it's now or never.

Maybe I'll wake up tomorrow (or today, rather, seeing as it's 2am) feeling better about things. Or maybe my life is headed in the direction of new possibilities.

By the way, the dates with the boy that I mentioned quite awhile ago have since dissipated into nothingness. Apparently I told no one this because lately I've been asked about him a few times. It simply didn't work out. Nothing too dramatic there.

Mid-year resolutions

Wow. So apparently blogging hasn't been high on my list of things to do. It wouldn't be a big deal to me, except for the fact that in addition to this I haven't been writing anything at all in my journal or memoirs for quite some time.

Why is this? I guess my theory is that I've been fairly avoidant. I've suffered some significant loss in my life over the past month or so, and I haven't dealt with it in the healthiest of ways. The things in my life that elicit emotion-- listening to my music and writing-- seem to have fallen to the wayside in favor of sleep, tv, and good food. While there is nothing wrong with these things, when I notice them in excess I know that something is not quite right. I've also been stuck in some spiritual mud, muck, or whatever you want to call it.

Life is all about choices, and I hate that sometimes. I've made a lot of the wrong ones. But I'd like to start making some steps towards taking better care of myself, so here are a couple of small resolutions I've come up with:

1. I will blog at least once a week.
2. I will start looking for a church again. (I haven't been to church since.... um... ok, it's been awhile).

So look forward to hearing from me more often. Ok, so you don't have to be excited about it... just pretend like you all are :)