Thoughts on moving and grad school

I can't believe it! In exactly one week and I'll be getting off my plane at LAX and making a big scene when I see my beloved friend Benjamin. It seems like only days ago that I was beginning to think about Cali, and now my trip is right around the corner. Everything is happening so fast.

I'm moving out of my apartment at the end of May. My roommate purchased a townhouse, and rather than find another roommate, I will be moving in with her temporarily. The downside to this, of course, is that if and when California happens I'll be moving twice in the next couple of months. The upside is that I won't have a lease to get out of when I get a job-- I can put my two weeks in at work and just go.

In the past, I've felt very little direction when it comes to my career, and that's been okay by me. I know that I want to work in social services. Other than that, I've been pretty open to whatever comes my way. Lately though, the California job search has made me realize that I really do enjoy working in chemical dependency. This has me contemplating grad school to get my masters in Social Work or Counseling, or going back to get my Chemical Dependency Counseling license through an undergrad program. Scary! Especially since just getting through my undergrad has felt like a battle at times (I'm almost there!).

Today is day #1 of 28 days without drinking. No, I do not have a drinking problem. But I think that a month without it would give me some perspective. And it's on my list of 101 things to do, which I seem to have taken a hiatus from but have not forgotten about.

I don't know if I'll blog again before Cali. Perhaps the next time you hear from me, I'll be a bit more tan.

Interview news and possible piercings

So I got an interview in Cali at a big name rehab center. I was excited, and rightfully so. It's a big deal. But after some pondering, I don't know if it's really what I want to do. I currently work with a population of privileged teens where there is not much diversity. The job in Cali would be great. I would obviously be in Cali and have better pay, but I would also be working with the same population, only older. In the long term, I see myself working with more diverse and underprivileged populations. Obviously I'm still going to the interview. I'm just thinking a lot about whether it's where I'd want to be. Cali planning is coming along swimmingly. Highlights will include interviews, sunshine, time with my Ben who I miss like crazy, hiking, whale watching, kayaking, camping, 2 concerts (Atmosphere and Laura Veirs), and seeing old friends. I can't express with words how much I need this trip.

I have control issues. I'm learning this about myself. I'm not controlling in all aspects of my life, but I have what I think of as a "need to know." I can go with the flow in many aspects, but when it comes to certain things, namely relationships, I feel as though I need to know everything. The fact is, some things aren't knowable, at least not in the very moment that I want them to be. The fact is, I need to let certain things go and just be. And it takes practice. And right now, I suck at it.

I lost my favorite nose ring. I'm sure that no one but me cares or even notices, but I am sad. I've been thinking about getting another piercing...



The above is a random image of what I'm thinking of (thank you, google). I'm hesitant because I think that it's easy to go overboard with facial piercings and I don't want to get rid of my nose ring. But I really like the idea of a small, delicate lip piercing. I'd love feedback... so let me know what you think!

Uneventful living

Sometimes this feeling creeps up on me-- the inkling that I'm not quite where I want to be. I've been good at being content in general (yes, I see it as somewhat of a skill), enjoying the moment for what it is. I'm a lot better that I have ever been at not dwelling on the past. Dwelling on the future, that's a different story. But at this point in my life there is nothing specific to dwell on. For the most part, my future is a blank canvas. I'm starting to paint the shores and mountains of California, but I have yet to fill in the details.

I've given up on match.com for awhile now. Internet dating is just too flaky for my taste and I needed to give it a break. I'm sticking with reliable people I already know to fill up my time. Maybe I'll pick up dating again sometime in the future.

My life is uneventful, peaceful. I'm just taking it all in and wondering where to go next.