...Then it got better

Apparently there has been a request for a post by one of my two readers. I'm wide awake at 4am and bored out of my mind, so I thought I'd oblige :)

I have a chronic need to be understood. I know that more or less everyone does, but my need manifests itself in feeling obligated to explain everything-- particularly my feelings. It's difficult for me to simply feel sad, hurt, or angry. I also feel the need to explain to others who are present in that moment exactly why I am feeling that way. Maybe this comes from a fear of being seen as irrational, which in this culture is a label often slapped on women with strong emotions.

This is (sadly, ironically) my explanation for the raw emotion behind my last post. I'd like to feel more free to share and express my emotions without the need to rationalize, or apologize. I do that too often.

Things with Charlie are better. That incident necessitated his possibly permanent move off of my bed at night. Everything I read in my research on dominant dog behavior suggested this, and I kind of knew the day would come. It was sad nonetheless. He slept on his bed on the floor for a few days, and then I put the gate back up in the hallway that I had taken down a long time ago and moved his bed there. He hated that gate when I first got him as I had tried to put him there while I was at work. He jumped it and nearly ripped his stitches out. Needless to say, I didn't expect his new sleeping situation to go well, but I'm pretty determined to re-establish my dominance so it needed to happen. The first night went surprisingly well. He cried for half an hour (the only verb that can be used to describe the pathetic sounds he makes) but didn't bark, and then went to sleep. The subsequent nights have been harder, since he sometimes wakes me up in the middle of the night crying. But I expect that it will get easier. He hasn't bitten or growled since he bit my face. It seemed to be a turning point for both of us. He seems like a different dog-- more grateful for affection and much more sweet natured than he's ever been. Hopefully this is a result of being assured of his place in the world. I sure love him.